Top 10: Things I Have NEVER Heard a Middle School Student Say?

10.  I stopped coming to youth group because I didn’t like your theological stance on _______.  9.  We all really feel like you should wear skinny jeans and get more tattoos, so you can be more relevant.  8.  Tonight was way too much fun.  7.  Please stop sending me personal handwritten encouragement notes.  6.  My parents realized that […]

Top 10: Youth Ministry “Sacred Cows”?

10. We still feed kids junk food, even though we know it’s bad for them—Our body is the “Temple of the Holy Spirit,” except at youth events. 9. The churches that worry more about the Jones memorial carpet, couch, or…. The youth room pipe organ, than students.- The one thing that Grandma Jones left behind […]

Top 10: If We Allowed Restaurants Chains to Run Our Church?

10. McDonald’s: Parents put up with going there, because the kids love the playland?   9. Burger King: Have It Your Way Sermons?  8. Taco Bell: Same sermon content every week,  just with a different title and packaging?  7. KFC: Original or Extra Crispy Theology of the Final Judgements?   6. Dunkin’ Donuts: Full-Immersion Baptism, Of Course?  5. Wendy’s: Known for […]

Top 10: “Santa Might Actually Be a Middle School Youth Pastor?”

10.  He Is At Least 2 Feet Taller Than Anybody He Works With? (hello- little 6th grader way down there.) 9. Tummy That Jiggles Like a “Bowl Full of Jelly”?  (more like a bowl full of pizza!?) 8.  Beard? (Hipster Beard?) 7. Is All Into Giving Away Stuff? (who wants a cool Free t-shirt or […]

Last Minute SCARY Costumes for Youth Pastors?

10. An Old 15 Passenger Church Van (Packed for a Long Trip)  9.  An Angry or Offended Youth Group Parent  8.  A Middle School Boy Drinking a Monster (run away…run away)  7.  THE Youth Group Mean Girl (she scares me to DEATH!!)  6.  The Walking Dead… (I mean “Senior Ladies Easter Liturgical Dance Team”)  5.  A […]

Top 10: Your Youth Pastor is SO Out of Touch…

10. They Think Instagram is Putting Your Grandma On Speed Dial? 9. They Think Snapchat is when they Snap Their Fingers at You When You are Talking During Their Lesson? 8.  They Got a TikTok Account to Post Videos of Their Watch & the Times When Youth Group is Meeting?  7. They went to Starbucks […]

Top 10: “Other” Jobs That a Youth Pastor Does?

10. Psychologist/Psychiatrist (able to fix any mental disorder for any student in 15 minutes or less…guaranteed! ) 9. Custodian (responsible to clean anything, everything and all carpet stains around the building no matter if the youth group made it or not) 8. Bus Mechanic (can fix any bus with a roll of duct tape, chicken […]

Top 10: Reasons Why Sr. Saints Love Online Church?

10. No One is Stealing THEIR Seat! 9. They Don’t Have to See the Youth Pastor’s New Skinny Jeans! 8. The Room is Always the Perfect Temperature! 7. You Can Doze Off At Any Point, Snore Loudly and Your Wife Doesn’t Have to Elbow You Awake! 6. No Problem Find a Parking Spot! 5. Two […]

Top 10: There is Always That One Student…

THERE IS ALWAYS ONE STUDENT…. 10.  …that is waiting for a ride home 30 minutes after the event ends. 9.  …crying halfway through the middle school lock-in (*boy-getting hurt or girl- drama).  8. …. that read one book, one time, and now know all there is to know about a topic! 7. …. that is […]

Top 10: Things You DO NOT What to Hear Your Custodian Say…

Dedicated to our hard-working staff of custodians around our churches, that put up with us and our students.  They are the unsung heroes of youth ministry.   I have actually had some of our maintenance staff as small group leaders, over the years. A super-smart move on a bunch of levels (*free hint!!)  10.  I was thinking […]